For a Trump administration to seem possible, disbelief must be not only suspended, it must be clubbed over the head, stuffed into a burlap bag and hidden in the basement.
Some words simply shouldn’t be strung together: Do-it-yourself tonsillectomy. Geriatric nudist colony. President Donald Trump.
Is there anyone in the country who really — really! — thinks Donald Trump could become president, should become president or would be of any use to any American as president?
And yet, unless they are secretly on the Trump payroll, which I suppose is entirely possible, there are some who are evidently taking The Donald’s alleged presidential aspirations seriously.
Trump — he of the big mouth, the bigger ego and, to quote no less an authority on coiffes than Apu from “The Simpsons,” the “hair by Frank Lloyd Wright” — is teasing the media about seeking the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, a move that A) by comparison, makes Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann appear to be a thoughtful candidate, and B) has absolutely nothing to do with stoaking interest in his TV show (“The Celebrity Apprentice,” Sundays at 9 p.m., NBC).
So DraftTrump 2012 has been heating up the email inbox with breathless press releases. Thursday’s big announcement was headlined: “Country Music Legend Joins Draft Trump Effort,” which would be news, I guess, if the Coutry Music Legend were someone anyone had heard of, like Dolly Parton, or Cledus T. Judd. But this is one of those rare legends who happens to be obscure: Jerry Naylor.
Naylor’s career highlights include the pop hit, “But for Love,” which reached No. 5 on the Billbord charts in 1970; being named one of the “Top Forty Male Volcalists of 1970” by Cash Box magazine; and being one of the Crickets — unfortunately, post-Buddy Holly.
Star power aside, for a Trump administration to seem possible, disbelief must be not only suspended, it must be clubbed over the head, stuffed into a burlap bag and hidden in the basement. When a candidate spends half his “campaigning” time denying his interest in running for office has anything to do with generating ratings for his wheezy TV show (“The Celebrity Apprentice,” Sundays at 9 p.m., NBC), he loses credibility. When said candidate indicates he’ll announce his decision whether to run for president on the season finale of that TV show (“The Celebrity Apprentice,” Sundays at 9 p.m., NBC), those who think said candidate needs to be taken seriously lose their credibility.
The rest of The Donald’s platform — and, by the way, is that about the lamest nickname ever? Putting a “The” in front of your first name is supposed to be a nickname? The only person that works for is that guy from “Jersey Shore,” Situation Sorrentino.
Take Two: The rest of The Donald’s platform seems to consist of questioning whether President Obama is a United States citizen, a strategy that no less a partisan Repubican than Karl Rove glossed as “nutty.”
Trump responded in characteristic fashion: He insulted Rove. (To do so, he had to take time out from insulting comedian Jerry Seinfeld, with whom he is in an unrelated feud. Trump feuds a lot. Ask Rosie O’Donnell. Or Barbara Walters. Or Rihanna. Or Martha Stewart. At least he’s picking on guys these days.)
In any event, “The Apprentice” (Sundays at 9 p.m., NBC) ends on May 22. And who knows - maybe the big reveal will be that this season’s winner, instead of just being an apprentice to Trump, will be his running mate.
It would be great promotion for the next season’s “Appprentice.”
Contact Kevin Frisch at (585) 394-0770, ext. 257, or at firstname.lastname@example.org.