Outdoors: Are you an Old Fisherman...Take the Test

Steve Gilliland
Special to the Globe

Just this week I was talking with a local pastor about his decision to retire a few years sooner than he had planned.

Moving nearer his grandkids is his main motivation, but we both agreed that once we reach retirement age, our future health is on our mind oftener than it used to be. I’ll be 70 this summer and my health is at least average, but I just seem to feel a little older each day. With that and fishing season both in mind, here are some thoughts on becoming an “Old Fisherman.”

You’re probably an old fisherman if you still smell like Ben Gay even after you’ve cleaned your fish.

If you waste countless hours of prime fishing time reeling and casting, reeling and casting, because you can’t remember whether or not you just re-baited your hook, you’re probably an old fisherman.

If, after reaching quickly under the boat seat for the dip net, you’ve found yourself holding your cane instead, you’re probably an old fisherman.

If you have ever started to hold the line between your teeth only to discover you’ve left your teeth at home at home, you’re probably an old fisherman.

If removing that occasional fishbone from your teeth can now be accomplished by removing your teeth and tapping them on the table, you just might be an old fisherman.

If you’re shore lunch now includes a tall, cool thermos of Metamucil and a box of prunes, you’re probably an old fisherman.

If your fishing buddies are now more than happy to take you along to their secret “honey holes” because they are confident you’ll never remember where you were anyway, you’re probably an old fisherman.

You’re probably an old fisherman if your wife now begs to go fishing with you because she’s afraid you’ll forget your way back home (you should feel lucky she wants you back home).

You’re probably an old fisherman if your favorite fishing chair is now one of those fancy walkers with a seat on it, and you are relegated to fishing from the boat dock because that’s the only place level enough to park it, or if you recently removed a seat from your boat to make room for your walker.

You just might be an old fisherman, if to you, the letters GPS mean Gotta’ Pee Soon.

It’s easy for anyone to drive off with their coffee cup sitting on the roof or the bumper of the pickup, but if you have gotten to the lake and turned around to back your boat down the boat ramp only to discover the boat was still parked in the driveway at home, you’re an old fisherman.

And finally, I’m sure you’re an old fisherman if your eyesight has gotten so dim that you now haul home all the carp you catch because you mistake them for trophy bass…Continue to Explore Kansas Outdoors!

Steve can be contacted by email at stevenrgilliland@gmail.com